Monday, April 14, 2014

Now that you're in the world

I never really mind being at the hospital, I had a view of the temple from my room, tons of treats, and I had visitors non-stop the first few days.  I was so thrilled that they were able to see and hold my baby this time.
Grandma and Grandpa Beckstrand were there first thing Tuesday morning.  My mom brought Ashton over early too.  I had been so excited for Ashton to come.  I was so excited for him to meet his new brother.  We had been preparing him for this for months.  I was sad that he wouldn't get to see him in person since he was in the NICU though.  When my mom first brought him to the hospital he was super happy.  My mom said they had been having a great morning together.  I was so concerned how he would react to waking up and not having us there.  But he had his Grandma and didn't really seem to mind.  In fact he completely ignored me when he got to the hospital, wouldn't even acknowledge me.  We took him down to the NICU where he could look in a window and see his new baby brother.  
He stood on the foot rests of my wheelchair and just watched. 
 I have no idea what was going on in his little head but he seemed to be excited.
Ashton warmed back up to me eventually and held my hand and laid with me in my bed.

That afternoon my Dad stopped by with my Grandma Liedtke and they got to look through the window too. Annalise, Alex, and Toni also came.  They captured some of the best moments with me as I was freshly dosed up on drugs.  I'm hoping the pictures they took never resurface...  I started having a reaction to the magnesium and my face felt as if I had the worst sunburn.  It was turning redish-purplish too.  The nurses said they had never seen it happen but that it can be a side effect, so much fun.  That combined with the crazy swelling I had I was looking like a whole different person.  They all got to be there when they brought our little baby (we still didn't have a name for him at this point) back into the room.  I was so out of it that I didn't trust myself holding him at all.  So they all got to snuggle him for me and Alex helped Jason syringe feed him.   Jason stayed with me that night and my Mom stayed with Ashton again.
Ashton was having a blast with all the excitement and attention he was getting.  Almost everyone who brought presents for the new baby also brought presents for him.  He looked so big to me, like he had grown up overnight.  My mom brought him back on Wednesday, this was the first time he got to meet his new baby brother face to face.  He wasn't too sure about him at first, but by the end he was very interested in every noise and movement he made, but he wasn't so sure about touching or holding him.
My mom went back home Wednesday night and Jason stayed with Ashton at home the rest of the nights I was in the hospital, but they came to visit lots.  Jason and him made quite the handsome pair.
Annalise, Alex and her husband Travis and Toni came back, as well as Aislinn and my good friend Stephanie Reynolds.  
My Dad also came back for a visit and Kayli came up and helped take some sweet pictures for me.
My last day in the hospital was Friday, they let me check out a night early.  Jason took Ashton for a father-sons day, while I got to fully relax at the hospital.  I had no visitors that day, just me and my babe.  We did skin to skin for hours.  Just snuggled together, something truly incredible.  While I learned a lot of strength from my experience with Ashton and even though my second birth wasn't perfect, I can understand now why women want to do it again.  
Those precious moment with brand new life is something amazing, something I can't describe.  
If only I could freeze time.  

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