BYU50

If anyone would have ever told me I would be looking through downtown for a box of BYU swag or getting excited about BYU football 10 years ago I would have laughed in their face and probably started singing the Aggies fight song.  But as luck would have it we are now the proud owners of the BYU50 Fort Worth big blue box! 

Right before football starts back up BYU goes around dropping these boxes all over the country and then posting a picture of where it is at.  BYU fans from all over decked out in their BYU gear come running to find it.  Last year we had some friends try to find it but missed it.  This year my dad reminded me in the morning that they were going to be dropping in Texas that today.  I was at a baby shower and laughed it off at first.  Later that afternoon we were getting ready to head to Dallas for a b-day/pool party and thought we'd try and look around downtown while we were driving through.  They had sent out a tweet saying that they were on their way to Fort Worth from Dallas, and then another saying that the Fort Worth drop had been delayed.  So we really had no clue when they would actually drop the box.  My two guesses were Sundance Square or the Water Gardens.  We drove by Sundance and saw a few other people in BYU shirts waiting for the drop there.  So we decided to head to the Water Gardens, all the while I kept refreshing my phone and switching back and forth between Twitter and Instagram waiting for their post.  We were almost to the Water Gardens when all of a sudden we saw THE BOX!  A guy in a BYU shirt was crossing the street to a parking lot on the other side of the Water Gardens and he had the box!  Jason immediately stopped the car and I jumped out.  The guy got into a mini van full of other people wearing BYU shirts.  This meant one of two things either that dude just found the box before they ever posted the picture OR we just found the box before the picture got posted!  I was about 15ft from the van while Jason parked and I kept refreshing my phone and just watching that mini van.  All of a sudden this photo went up:

I ran across the street to this exact spot but there was no box.  A group of other people also came running and when they didn't see the box they took off to the other side of the Water Gardens to look there.  I started heading back across the street to just go talk to the people in the mini van and see if they had already won the box somehow or what was going on.  On my way back across the street the same guy I saw earlier came walking over to me and said: "You Won!"  I called Jason and had him get the boys and come over.  I couldn't believe it! I couldn't stop laughing.  Apparently that guy had taken the picture of the box but there were too many people standing around that he wanted to wait a bit before posting it, so he walked back across the street with the box, which is when we saw him!

There was a group of people that soon found us, and some were less than thrilled that we already had the box.  Jason and I felt pretty out of place in our swimsuits while most everyone else had their BYU gear on.  Some of these people had driven far and been waiting a long time.  We were literally on our way out of town and just got lucky.

Jason and I couldn't stop laughing about our luck the rest of the day and for a few days after that actually.  The box was packed full of tons of different stuff: jersey, signed picture, flag, blanket, socks, gloves, water bottle, and tons more.
Thanks BYU!

Utah State, hey, Aggies all the way! 

Babies of the 80's

One thing we love about Jason's school is all the fun activities they put on for the students and their families.  They had a fun back to school/welcome week with an 80s theme.  While most activities were just for students on campus I got to help with the BINGO activity as part of SAA.  So of course we snuck into the photo booth a few times.  

They had a fun family activity at Rollerland West.  Pizza and roller skating, you know we're not going to turn that down.  I hadn't been on roller skates since who knows when, probably junior high, Jason probably longer than that.  Ashton was very excited but very hesitant, Julian LOVED it!  He never wanted to stop.  

Love these family adventures!

Birthday Trip For Me

My Dad had a business trip planned for Texas before we even moved down here.  So I had been looking forward to figuring out a way to see him while he was in the same state as me.  Then for my birthday my Dad flew my Mom out so she could drive with me and we could all spend a few days together.  I had been looking forward to this trip, and was so excited for my boys to get to see their grandparents again.  Ashton was off the wall excited. 

I picked my mom up late Saturday night.  Sunday morning we had peach cobbler and blew out candles to celebrate both my moms birthday and mine.  Ash made Grandma play cars all morning with him.  After sacrament meeting we said goodbye to Jason and took off on our adventure. 

We met up with my Dad by Austin at his cousins house.  We took Ashton to the park so he could get some energy out and then had dinner at The Cotton Patch.  We got to the hotel in San Antonio late that night.  This was Ashtons second time at a hotel but he was so excited and thought it was awesome having a sleepover with Grandma and Grandpa. 

Monday we checked out downtown San Antonio and took the boys to the childrens museum.  Even I was super entertained there.  Ash has grown up so much in the way he plays and interacts with things.  I love watching his mind figure things out and discover new things. 

After Grandpa got done working we went swimming at the hotel.  The pool was freezing, but Ashton never wanted to get out.  He loved playing with Grandpa. That night we went and walked around the Alamo and the River Walk.

The next day we took Ashton on a miniature train ride, that had a tunnel and everything, then we drove to Austin which was where my dad was working that day.  We went to an outdoor mall for some window shopping and lunch and then played in the outdoor fountains.  We had to stop in Barnes and Noble so Ashton could play with more trains too (the boy really likes trains).  That night we went downtown to the Congress Avenue Bridge.  Underneath the bridge live over a million bats and at dusk they all fly out to go eat.  Its the thing to do in Austin apparently, there were tons of people everywhere all waiting for the bats to come out.  It was pretty crazy watching all of the bats flying all over the place.  We watched for about a half hour before packing up and they were still coming out when we left.  I will say though, there are hardly any bugs in Austin.

We drove back home Tuesday night, the trip went by far too quickly.  We had to take my mom back to the airport Wednesday morning.  We were all sad.  Julian and Ashton both loved all the time and attention they got from Grandma and Grandpa.  I love watching them love my boys.  While we were away I kept forgetting that I didn't still live in Utah, and that I wasn't just on a vacation with my parents.  It was so sad to remember that all this having fun and happiness with them wasn't going to last past a few days.  It's hard to explain, but it just felt good to have them around again.  Getting a nap and being able to sleep in while my mom had the boys sure helped with those good feelings too!

The White Coat Ceremony

I was so proud of Jason.  I AM so proud of Jason.  He has worked so hard to get here.  It is crazy to think that we are really doing this.  Really in med school.  My husband is really going to be a doctor.  Jason is really going to do what he wants, help people, save lives, make a difference.  I know it is going to be long, and everyone has warned me that it is going to be hard.  We made it through the first week of just orientation classes, and we really missed him, I guess I'm not sure what to expect when real classes start on Monday.  But he will be incredible as always.

The White Coat Ceremony is when all of the first year med students receive their first "white coat" which signifies the beginning of their medical career.  They talked about how hard everyone has worked to get to be where they are at.  They talked about how everyone one of them was the top of their class and that they were all chosen to come to this school for a reason.  "There were over 3,000 applicants for the 230 spots for the class of 2018.  Feel special!"  and we definitely do.  Out of all the interview opportunities we had Jason knew this was where he wanted to be.  They only accept 8-10% of the incoming class to be from out of state, and the majority of those students come from BYU.  Jason even received a scholarship on top of that!  Ok, done bragging...

 

I think there was only one other person there more proud and excited than I was. 

So glad she was able to see her son follow his dreams today too.

Grandma and Grandpa Beckstrand come to Texas

We were lucky to have Grandma and Grandpa Beckstrand come out for Jason's White Coat Ceremony.  It was so nice to have them here with us in Texas and make things feel a little more like home.  It was a quick trip but we had so much fun with them.  

Friday after Jason picked them up from the airport with a very excited Ashton we got to go to a BBQ that the school was putting on for all of the first years and their families.  It was so much fun and just what I needed.  They had an amazing balloon artist and other fun games and activities set up outside and yummy food.  

Yes, that is most definitely an octopus backpack.

We also got to see where Jason will be spending most of his time for the next two years.  The lecture hall was really impressive, everything is very hi-tech and new.  We also got to see the rest of the building where they get to practice being doctors.  You really feel like you are in a hospital, it is all set up just like it would be with a bunch of exam rooms that they will get to practice in.  I was really impressed and it was really good for me to see and understand a little bit more what Jason is going to be doing.  It also felt good and a little bit more normal to be all together having fun as a family.

Saturday was the big day, the White Coat Ceremony, but I will save that for another post, because it really was that cool and special.  After the ceremony at the school Grandma and Grandpa took us out for lunch, then we came home and all relaxed together, Grandpa Beckstrand loaded us up with all of our favorite treats and we rented a movie and just enjoyed being together.

 Sunday was church, then naps, then we went downtown and explored the Water Gardens in Fort Worth.  I'm sure we will be back, it was a really beautiful area and the different fountains are pretty incredible.  Ashton especially loved running around and exploring with his Dad.  He has really missed not having him around as much.  

Sadly we had to say goodbye Sunday night, as they left really early Monday morning.  It was another really hard goodbye.  This was the end of our visitors, we are on our own now.  It made things feel like more of a reality and that just made it too hard to say goodbye.  It especially breaks my heart that Ashton and Julian are going to miss out on such amazing grandparents.  I know we will still see them, but I'm just not sure when, and that's a hard thought.  I am so grateful they got to come out though.  I know it meant a lot to Jason to have them here as well.  It was also a huge help to me to have them at the White Coat Ceremony,  I was actually able to enjoy it and pay attention to things more than I think I would have if I had the two boys by myself.  I feel so blessed to have such amazing parents and in-laws, and I feel extra blessed that my boys get to have so many amazing Grandparents in their lives as well. 

Now that you're in the world

I never really mind being at the hospital, I had a view of the temple from my room, tons of treats, and I had visitors non-stop the first few days.  I was so thrilled that they were able to see and hold my baby this time.

Grandma and Grandpa Beckstrand were there first thing Tuesday morning.  My mom brought Ashton over early too.  I had been so excited for Ashton to come.  I was so excited for him to meet his new brother.  We had been preparing him for this for months.  I was sad that he wouldn't get to see him in person since he was in the NICU though.  When my mom first brought him to the hospital he was super happy.  My mom said they had been having a great morning together.  I was so concerned how he would react to waking up and not having us there.  But he had his Grandma and didn't really seem to mind.  In fact he completely ignored me when he got to the hospital, wouldn't even acknowledge me.  We took him down to the NICU where he could look in a window and see his new baby brother.  

He stood on the foot rests of my wheelchair and just watched. 

 I have no idea what was going on in his little head but he seemed to be excited.

Ashton warmed back up to me eventually and held my hand and laid with me in my bed.

That afternoon my Dad stopped by with my Grandma Liedtke and they got to look through the window too. Annalise, Alex, and Toni also came.  They captured some of the best moments with me as I was freshly dosed up on drugs.  I'm hoping the pictures they took never resurface...  I started having a reaction to the magnesium and my face felt as if I had the worst sunburn.  It was turning redish-purplish too.  The nurses said they had never seen it happen but that it can be a side effect, so much fun.  That combined with the crazy swelling I had I was looking like a whole different person.  They all got to be there when they brought our little baby (we still didn't have a name for him at this point) back into the room.  I was so out of it that I didn't trust myself holding him at all.  So they all got to snuggle him for me and Alex helped Jason syringe feed him.   Jason stayed with me that night and my Mom stayed with Ashton again.

Ashton was having a blast with all the excitement and attention he was getting.  Almost everyone who brought presents for the new baby also brought presents for him.  He looked so big to me, like he had grown up overnight.  My mom brought him back on Wednesday, this was the first time he got to meet his new baby brother face to face.  He wasn't too sure about him at first, but by the end he was very interested in every noise and movement he made, but he wasn't so sure about touching or holding him.

My mom went back home Wednesday night and Jason stayed with Ashton at home the rest of the nights I was in the hospital, but they came to visit lots.  Jason and him made quite the handsome pair.

Annalise, Alex and her husband Travis and Toni came back, as well as Aislinn and my good friend Stephanie Reynolds.  

My Dad also came back for a visit and Kayli came up and helped take some sweet pictures for me.

My last day in the hospital was Friday, they let me check out a night early.  Jason took Ashton for a father-sons day, while I got to fully relax at the hospital.  I had no visitors that day, just me and my babe.  We did skin to skin for hours.  Just snuggled together, something truly incredible.  While I learned a lot of strength from my experience with Ashton and even though my second birth wasn't perfect, I can understand now why women want to do it again.  

Those precious moment with brand new life is something amazing, something I can't describe.  

If only I could freeze time.  

How Wonderful Life Is...

Monday, April 7th, started out just like any other day.  Actually it started out better.  I was having a great day.  A baby swing I had been wanting popped up on KSL for only $35 and was for sale just 5 minutes away from us.  I was feeling blessed.  Jason had the morning off so we went and picked it up and then took Ashton to the park.  I actually played with him, rode the see-saw and everything.  I've been on so called "bed rest" since the little babe tried coming early back in February.  Dr. Lind would set goals, "lets get you to 34 weeks" "36 weeks would be good, but I doubt I'll see you"... but low and behold I was still making it to all those appointments.

I was pretty proud of myself every morning that I woke up and was still pregnant. However once I got past 36 weeks I started feeling like I was done.  At about 35weeks I started swelling like I had with Ashton and my blood pressure was getting higher, all the signs of preeclampsia that I had before Ashton came.  We had an extra ultra sound at 33 weeks because I was measuring so large, they discovered that baby was big, 75th percentile (Ashton always measured big too), and that I definitely had a ton of fluid.  No surprise there.  By my 36 week appointment I was measuring 42 weeks.  I was huge.  I had gained over 10lbs more weight than I had with Ashton, around 50lbs all together.  That's a lot of weight! I was so swollen my hands and feet ached, I was just crazy uncomfortable, but I wasn't having any real contractions either, so I was really feeling like I was just going to be pregnant forever.

Back to Monday, after the park and Jason went to work, Ashton and I just had a day.  I decided that I was done resting, and was just going to resume normal activities.  I took him to ride his bike around the block, we played in the backyard, I even picked him up and carried him.  Much to his excitement.  I was watching him play in the backyard and just felt like my heart was going to burst.  I felt like this day was different, like I needed to soak up every last second with this little boy.

Jason got home at about 9:30pm.  When he came in I told him we should probably pack our bags.  I wasn't having any contractions whatsoever, but I just knew.  At about 10:00pm Ashton was in his jammies ready for bed and I was just wiping off the kitchen counters when my water broke.  Such a surreal thing.  I was just laughing as I ran to the bathroom and just let the water flood out.   Ashton came in after me and just kept repeating "water broke? water broke?!" and wouldn't let Jason come in.  We called Annalise who came over to stay with Ashton while my Mom drove down from Morgan.  Alex and Toni ended up coming over after we left as well.  They said Ashton was so excited, whether he understood what was happening or not he definitely knew it was a big deal.  Or he was just excited that he was getting to play with three of his favorite people well past bed time.

We were delivering at American Fork Hospital this time, once there they set me up in a room and told me that Dr. Lind was actually on call that night, everything was just lining up perfectly!  He was delivering another mom at the moment, so they said they would get the OR ready and that they would take me back in about an hour.  I wasn't having any real contractions still, I maybe had 7 bad contractions all together before I was taken back to the OR for my spinal block.  Much easier than when I went in at 31weeks.

Knowing you are going to have a c-section is so much better and less stressful than an emergency one.  They took me back, I think they made me walk back actually, I was still nervous and scared, that room needs some nice paint and maybe some soothing pictures of the ocean.  I started shaking, I was freezing, the spinal block wasn't fun, but after that I just had to lay there.  I asked them to turn on music, cause that dead silence is awkward and makes things feel weird and anxious.  I can't remember what they turned on now, it wasn't my choice of music but it put everyone in a good mood.  They were saying how they wished they could have music on all the time.  Everyone was just taking there time getting things ready and joking around with each other.  Such a different experience from before! Jason came back all gowned up and excited.  He loves watching these things.  The Dr even told him he could go on the other side of the sterile curtain to watch.  I asked him to hold my hand instead, but at some point in the procedure they called him over and he just left and went to watch! I was shocked in the moment, but not mad. I don't remember doing this but I guess I asked the anesthesiologist to hold my hand instead.  Jason said it was really cool to watch from that view though, and I really am glad he got to see that.

Our little guy was born at 12:42 am on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014.  I was 37 weeks.  

8lbs 3oz. and 20.5 inches long.

Dr. Lind held him up over the curtain to me as soon as he pulled him out.  Gooey, purple, baby not the cutest site in the world,but he was here! He was crying loud and lots, this is the best sound!  They said he was the biggest baby they had delivered that night.  After he was cleaned up and swaddled Jason brought him over to me.  I only got to see him for what felt like a few seconds.  He didn't score well on the APGAR scale, he was acting a little pre-mature as far as his coloring and being floppy like Ashton was.  He was also having a hard time breathing.  They took him to the nursery and Jason went with him while they stitched me back up.  My blood pressure had been really high so they treated me for pre eclampsia and gave me magnesium.  They warned me that the magnesium was going to be rough.  Boy were they right I can't even explain how it made me feel.  Any nurse that came in and read my chart said they felt bad for me having to be on that.  I was moved to a recovery room where I got really sick, more fun side effects from the mag.  Throwing up right after abdominal surgery is never a good thing.  

The rest of the night/morning is a blur.  I remember a nurse coming in around 4:00am and saying that they had moved the baby to the NICU, he had a slight heart murmur and they were running tests to see why his lungs were having such a hard time.  

I remember being so frustrated.  I had tried to do everything right this time, three weeks wasn't that early, my baby wasn't suppose to be in the NICU he was suppose to be in my room!!!  When they brought in a pump and said I would need to start pumping I was even more upset.  I wanted to feed my baby.  I wanted to have those experiences.  I let the machine sit there and said I would do it in an hour, praying I would be able to feed him on my own instead.  Within that time the NICU called and said I could come down and try and feed him.  I was so excited that I would be able to try and feed him first, rather than someone else.  Sadly with all the drugs I can't even remember going down there, once again I don't remember holding my baby for the first time.  This is the part I think I hate most about my c-sections, not being able to remember such a special moment.

(Jason snapped this picture of me getting to hold him for the first time, I could hardly keep my eyes open)

We were so blessed and he only needed to be in the NICU for about 12 hours, we got to bring him back in our room around 5:00pm on Tuesday.  I loved having his little bed right by mine so I could watch him. I loved feeling like things were more "normal".  I loved watching Jason take care of him since I wasn't able to do much yet.  I loved watching him look at him with such pure love and joy in his eyes.

He was so adorably handsome, I never wanted to stop looking at this new little man in my life. We had perfect moments in the hospital together.